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Author Topic: The Sidelines  (Read 38035 times)

otto105

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1035 on: May 01, 2024, 08:49:15 pm »
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1036 on: May 10, 2024, 02:13:43 pm »
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1037 on: May 10, 2024, 03:28:30 pm »
I’m keeping an eye on this guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfXd-S7z1jo
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JACKIEJOKEMAN REDUX

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1038 on: May 19, 2024, 01:48:32 pm »
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1039 on: May 20, 2024, 01:11:43 am »
I feel like I’m floating Jackie, haven’t done no drugs, smoked a little weed is all.  I like this floating feeling, but I know it’s gonna crash down and I ain’t gonna float.  It’s a hard road all right.  You got five, maybe ten minutes of floating, and then you hit the asphalt head on.  I gotta dog now.  He’s a Pitt bull, good God he’s a handsome fella.  He sleeps with me on the couch.  His breath is exceptionally good. His name is Chester.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2024, 01:17:33 am by dogstoothe »
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1040 on: May 20, 2024, 01:33:37 am »
Sometimes Chester cuts a stinky fart, but then I’m never sure if it isn’t my stinky fart.  It’s hard to tell .  Those really stinky ones come on you slow.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2024, 01:35:31 am by dogstoothe »
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1041 on: May 20, 2024, 02:07:24 am »
So I got kicked out of Modern Drunkard Magazine forum. I guess I got too drunk.  I got kicked out of a couple other forums too.  Nobody has kicked me out of this one. 

What’s the plan then Dog?

I think we should rob a bank.  I’ve got a Gang.  Our headquarters are in Frozen Lips Alaska.  There are four Eskimo stripper girls that have been with the Gang since the beginning .  One of them, the oldest one Meenie, just got married to Otto.  I was best man at the wedding,  but I fell down walking down the aisle and almost spoiled the whole thing.  But they got married, didn’t blame me.  Otto is a master mechanic.  I’ll explain all this as we travel along.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2024, 02:18:19 am by dogstoothe »
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1042 on: May 20, 2024, 02:46:57 am »
Badfellow is head of the Gang.  He rides a Harley, likes to crank it up all the time. I handed the leader role to him because of my decrepitness and wet brain and blindness.  I’m not totally blind, I can see if a car is coming, but that’s about it.  No big deal, I’ve seen all the Perry Mason episodes at least twice.  Anyway, the Gang is active.  We rob banks and motels and anything we feel like.  We all get along good.  We hang at the Bowling Alley when we’re not working.  The Eskimo stripper girls are terrific bowlers.
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1043 on: May 20, 2024, 03:29:32 am »
Ladybug makes the meals for the Gang. She once loved dogstoothe but she’s up in the air about loving him again.  She does those traditional dishes like pasta puttanesca and canned clams with linguine.  She throws in a macaroni and cheese every now and then.  She does Texas toast to go with, which everybody likes a lot.  She has this big scar on her face  where dogstoothe snashed her with his cane.  Then he spit on her.  Boy that made her mad.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2024, 03:53:11 am by dogstoothe »
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1044 on: May 20, 2024, 11:17:07 pm »
So that’s not really the truth, the truth is Ladybug has beaten me, bitten me , kicked me when I’m down , given me a big rope burn, tried to  turn Chester the dog against me, and pulled my hair.


You know, it’s hard enough just to brush your teeth and wash your face:
« Last Edit: May 20, 2024, 11:24:31 pm by dogstoothe »
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1045 on: May 20, 2024, 11:35:33 pm »
And then, what gets me the most, is she comes back from the grocery store and proudly shows off her produce purchases.  Potatoes, asparagus on sale, a big lettuce.  But none of that ever gets made.
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1046 on: May 20, 2024, 11:48:30 pm »
I’m not allowed in the kitchen, you see.  In fact I have to wait for Bug to go to sleep to sneak in through the kitchen to use the toilet.  Now, I do have one of those portable camper toilets, but there’s never  any bags to line it with.
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dogstoothe

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1047 on: May 21, 2024, 10:27:12 am »
Mick sings  —

I was talking with the neighbor / ‘Bout the way you wear your hair / He said, you must have a lot of children / Some milkman’s always there / Call the plumber, darlin’ / There must be a leak in my drain . . .
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JACKIEJOKEMAN REDUX

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1048 on: May 26, 2024, 10:23:09 pm »
Quote from: dogstoothe on May 21, 2024, 10:27:12 am
Mick sings  —

I was talking with the neighbor / ‘Bout the way you wear your hair / He said, you must have a lot of children / Some milkman’s always there / Call the plumber, darlin’ / There must be a leak in my drain . . .

 I hear ya Dog !
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otto105

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Re: The Sidelines
« Reply #1049 on: June 14, 2024, 02:30:49 pm »
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