Subject: X rated
Here is how it went down: I've been doing what I call my midnight crawl on one of my nights off. It's expensive down in the Quarter ($4.00 for a Budweiser) so I start off with a couple at home and usually end up with a couple more at home when the crawl is through. I start at Buffa's and work my way across the Quarter, having a single beer in each joint (unless something exciting is going on). I'm known now, by name in a couple of places, other places by the Budweiser. Bud is not hip down here these days, and I rarely see anybody at the bars drinking it. Anyway, I'm coming out of the fourth place and have decided to call it a night. $20 down but I figure that's cheap when two girls driving by say, "Hey, where ya going? Why not come with us?" Nice clean late model car, good looking gals, why not indeed? So I hop in and away we go. Oh, it smells wonderful in the car, the girls are just delightful, funny, don't call me names like some girls, and I'm reasonably sure by now they are hookers. To tell you the truth I'd thought I'd died and gone straight to heaven, didn't even have to knock on the door. "So where to?" they ask. How about the drive through ATM and then back to my place. I'll play ya all a couple of guitar songs. So that's what we do and I get two clams from the machine and hand it over. I figure two clams is not going to get me much time but it will get me some. They even have great music playing in the car and we wind up back at the gated lot that I keep the car in. I get out and open the gate. They drive off. So the two clams got me practically no time at all. Oh well, I think, as I walk to the apartment. Back inside I realize I don't have my phone. My phone is in their car, got to be. I look in my wallet and my debit card is gone. They've stolen my debit card and phone. Now they don't smell quite so nice if you get my drift. First thing in the morning I'm at the bank to tell the sordid story. The clerk looks into her computer and tells me I'm now overdrawn by $200. They used my pin number to make a cash withdrawal of $400 when I only had $200 left in there. How in hell did they do that? I ask the clerk. Even she doesn't know how that happened, something about emergency this or something that. By now I'm simply dumbfounded about how 1. they got hold of my card and 2. how did they steal the pin number? Well, okay, they stole the number by watching me at the ATM. And yep, they must have gotten the card while I was in the back seat with my pants down getting my practically no time at all. How slick is that? All that misdirection and then it hits me that there wasn't much time spent on that blow job because they didn't need much time at all. When they got what they wanted the job was done. And that's why they work as a pair. The next night at work I try to log into my Yahoo account and my password's been changed. I can't get a new password because they need your phone number to text it to you. So, anyway, I've got this e-mail set up, Monday I'm going to a different bank and getting a new checking account. There is no way I am going to eat that $200 overdraw. It was lucky I hadn't deposited my latest pay check, so I can open one up with that. Now, in all fairness to the girls, they didn't take my driver's licence and left the eighty or so bucks in my wallet. They could have taken the money, they had to have had the wallet in hand. I'm sure they are disappointed with the $400 (well, $600), just think what the next guy has stashed in his account. Naughty naughty girls. The end.
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